I want a grilled cheese sandwich.  Seriously.

I want a grilled cheese sandwich.

It’s been years sinc eI had one, and playing the Sims 2 game on pc made me want one. 

Of course, if I decide to prepare one now, I hope I don’t set my kitchen on fire like I did in the game.  That would be a bummer.

 

Anyway, I had the talk from my mother.  You know, the talk that everyone has with their parents when they hit puberty, which is usually around 13 or 14?

Well, I’m 18.  And I had the talk from my mother. Again.

The intial fueling of the talk stemmed from the fact that my clinically insane/promiscious cousin may be pregnant. And her sister had another abortion.  Which would make this her second abortion.

I am the first to state to anyone that nobody should tell anyone what they should do.  But I am strongly against abortion. I believe that its murder, and the worst option that a person can resort to (of course, there are some special cases in which the child or mother’s life may be in trouble). There are other options (namely adoption). When I heard this news from my mother, first I wanted to throw up. Then, I felt an anger creep into my veins.

But back to the discussion with my mom, she asked me if I wanted to go on the pill coem August when I’ll be entering University.

I felt angry at first when I heard this from her. DId she think that I was going to turn out like my promiscous cousins? Or did she seem to think that every entering college freshman was sexually active.

………………………………………ok, maybe she does………………………………..

My point being, I haven’t even had a boyrfiend yet, much less kissed anyone.  I seriously doubt that I will be pregnant by the end of my freshman year. I’m not the kind of girl to dish it out to anyone. I have morals.

Besides, the side effects of the pill terrifies me.  I researched it online, and some  include: blood clots, liver disease, gallbladder disease, stroke, heart disease, and weight gain (okay, this isn’t life threatening, but I’d hate to gain an additional 20 pounds or so).

I know its uncommon for everyone on the pill to get these effects, more like the 1-5% of people….but I know that I could be a part of that 1-5%.  Bad things happen to me.  It’s like I’m a magnet to unfortunate  events.

So why take the risk to get on a pill that I won’t even need for a while? And when I’m ready to have sex, I’ll make the decision myself whether I want to get on the pill or not.  It shouldn’t be a decision forced on me by my mother when I’m not ready.

Need I to state again that I’ve never had a boyfriend? Come on now!

 

————————————————————————————

Well, another event that has occured to me in my very vivid life is that  I realized that I may have developed a crush on my tutor. Ok, correction. I know I developed a crush on my tutor. Although he’s hot, funny, and smart, this crush makes it hard for me to concentrate on him teaching me physics.  How can I concentrate on him explaining me the various velocities and accelerations of moving objects when all I can think about is how my heart accelerates whenever I’m near him?

Not to mention the fact that he has a girlfriend.  Total buzzkill. And signififcantly older than me (only about three to four years). That shoudl throw my little crush straight off the ledge.

But weeks later, its still present. And all I can think about is how I just wanna kiss him. And run my fingers through his brown curly hair. And drown in his chocolate colored eyes.

 

ugh.  Sometimes, I hate being a girl.

peace,love

<3 ash